


The Confinements

by Depressing_Fanfiction



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Bipolar!Hamilton, Depressive Episode, F/M, Laf is in France, M/M, Most likely one shot, Sad, Trans!Ham(He is but it isn't shown at all), kinda short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-13
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-10-18 10:28:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10615023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Depressing_Fanfiction/pseuds/Depressing_Fanfiction
Summary: With a depressive episode taking over his life, Alexander is left to the mercy of his friends. They push and push and try to get him to leave his soft mattress. The question is: Shall they succeed?





	

**Author's Note:**

> TW/// Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Idk

Sometimes, he was known to be lively. Within those moments, his eyes sparked with an excitement unattainable to humankind. He glowed and radiated a confidence that people strive and crave to have. And they take that away from him. All of his power, his reign and his emotions, they all leave his control. A simple small capsule takes away the Alexander Hamilton that many know and love.

 

There are also other times, where his heart is heavy and his mouth always seems to be in a frown. During those times, his bed becomes his only home. His razor is vital for his lifestyle and it seems that nobody has the ability to drag him out of bed. The pills don’t help him. Because those pills calm him down. And in Alexander’s mind, those pills were stupid.

 

The pills always sat atop a marble counter, surrounded by other bathroom materials. They were in plain sight, for anyone who wished to enter that room. And despite many people’s insistence, the pills usually went untouched. 

 

That’s when this happened. His mood would go from being vibrant and untamed, to the meek and depressive person whose life seemed to drift away from just a bed.

 

Of course, people would attempt at getting him up.

 

Alexander stared at his gray walls with distaste. His auburn red hair formed a messy lion mane around his head. His blue eyes were dull and empty. Instead of that fiery look they usually adapted to, they were left lifeless. His arm was shook by whomever was deemed brave enough to wake him from his slumber. “Up! It’s been five days. You need to be active.”, Laurens demanded.

 

Alexander didn’t turn, but they didn’t expect him to. “Dude… Laf is worried. He always asks on the video calls if ‘his brother’ has awoken yet…”, Hercules insisted. “I’m fine.”, he muttered, his eyes flickering downwards. “So you’ve said. Don’t you want to write? Come on. We can… Go ice-skating maybe! Or even sky-dive. Let’s just do something. Martha told us to wake you up and drag you out of bed.”, Laurens babbled.

 

He bit his lip.  _ Poor Martha… _ , he thought.  _ All I am is being a burden to them. I need to get up… I have to. Yet, they’re better off without me. But, I can’t let them down.  _

 

“Please.”, he heard a separate voice beg. Lafayette. His voice had cracked and was raspy, like he’d been crying. Alexander jumped briefly at the sound of his brother, a smile trying to form on his face. Instead, he had turned around with just as much of a straight face as before. There was a computer set up on the table, with a video chat on. Lafayette was looking back at him worriedly. 

 

“Laf?”, he whispered. The boy smiled from France. “Yeah, Lex. Please, go do something. You can even take some of my money. Please… Just, I can’t bear to watch you like this. I don’t want them to send you away again… Alexander.”

 

Lafayette knew that Alexander couldn’t leave his bed. His mind was dragging him down and it wasn’t Alexander’s fault. However, he felt obligated to try. He could not watch his brother, whom he deeply cared for and loved, suffer. Alexander tried to offer a small smile in return, failing. “You guys can go.”, he murmured, turning back around and drawing the covers over his head. He could feel their frowns. “Lex…”, Laurens started.

 

He stopped, opting instead to follow Hercules out the door.  _ Nice. Now you have them upset. You’re that pathetic? You cannot even drag yourself out of bed for your friends? You’re a fucking asshole. I don’t understand why they try… _

 

“Alexander… Please. I know you feel horrible right now. I understand. We’re all worried. We don’t want to see you in the same position you were in all of those years ago. I know you disliked those meeting and the mental ward. It wasn’t fun, right? Yes well, Dr. Pendleton says that if you don’t get better soon… I’ll have to send you back.”, he heard George, his foster father, tell him.

 

But no, they didn’t understand. The hospital tried to drag him back in because of something he couldn’t help. He didn’t need pills or what they were to offer. At this point, he had no idea what he needed. For now though, all he could think of doing was listening to his friends and dragging himself out of bed. He heard a conversation below them. Laurens was talking to Martha and Hercules. He turned over and swung his feet over the edge of the bed. “I’m sorry.”, he whispered, crying into his hands. 

 

George embraced him. “It’s not your fault. It’s okay. Sh… You’re alright.”, he muttered. Alexander sat there for about a minute, calming down. He could handle this. He shakily got up and gripped George’s hand tightly while walking with him. He leaned against George for support. He hadn’t eaten in two weeks, and he knew that was horrible. He was all skin and bones, albeit it not being him at his worst. His legs were actually shaking and his cheeks were hollowed in. 

 

They travels down the stairs slowly, the steps creaking slightly. “George?”, Martha called from the kitchen. Alexander stopped, gripping him tight and closing his eyes before continuing. He hated seeing his son like this. He was so vulnerable and pliant, allowing the world to push and pull him. They walked into the large kitchen, where John and Hercules sat on stools. Martha was smiling widely, being the only one who had seen Alexander.

  
She seemed so surprised, as Alexander hadn’t come down in 2 weeks. His two friend turned around, their eyes lighting up. “I’m so sorry.”, Alexander apologized. “C’mere. You need some food.”, Martha demanded. George chuckled, placing Alexander on a stool between his friends. “Shit Lex, your hair.”, Hercules cursed. Laurens rolled his eyes. “He’s right. We should braid it quick. It’s all messy.”

 

“Braid?! Ponytails are better!”, Hercules exclaimed.

 

“It’d have to be pigtails!”, Laurens denied. They continued on with their banter.

  
In the end, they all knew that Alexander would soon fall into his manic episode. And yet, they were content. Because Alexander finally understood why he came to love his family so much. They weren’t perfect, but they were amazing. And that was more than enough to make him happy. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! It doesn't have to be a oneshot but it most likely will be. <3


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